If Jared, the dieting darling for Subway, had only eaten at ...

- VAN LOC VIETNAMESE SUBMARINES, 10648 98TH ST.

If Jared, the dieting darling for Subway, had only eaten at Van Loc Vietnamese Submarines every day he would've saved a helluva lot of money. For as little as $2.50 the franchise poster boy could've bought a footlong sub stuffed with carrot, cilantro, cucumber and a variety of Vietnamese deli meats. Afterwards, to soothe the sweet tooth, Van Loc might've suggested Jared pony up another $1.25 to munch on his balls -- the green bean sesame sprinkled gelatin ones of course. Or Van Loc's lovely helpers might have persuaded Jared to try the dessert drink crammed with jack fruit pieces, coconut jellies and pink sago for the same price. You got served Jared, ya Subway-sucking doh mah!

- PHO TAU BAY RESTAURANT, 10660 98TH ST.

My brother and I have a deal. Whoever gets rich first will pay off the poorer sibling with a pho allowance so they can gorge on this tasty Vietnamese dish every day. Fellow pho fiends will understand our addiction. When a steaming bowl of pho is served up, my bro and I sample a spoonful of the soup. When satisfied that the beef broth is to our liking we push the raw pieces of beef to the bottom of the bowl so they'll cook. I always get pho with flank, tendon and tripe, and I like to count how many pieces of each are in my bowl. (I hate restaurants that cheap out!) Then we throw the plate of mint leaves and bean sprouts into our bowls and proceed to ignore each other for the next 30 minutes as we zone into our food. Mmmm, pho.